I’ve gotten to know my friend Andrew through my friend group here in Charleston. He is a personal banker who loves to kayak, play guitar, run and read about history (among other things). He kindly agreed to be another ‘Ask Him’ feature. In return, I paid him in beer and fajitas ;). Here are some of his thoughts on women and relationships – I think you’ll find them helpful + encouraging.
What do you find attractive in a girl?
The foundation for me is having the same values. There’s definitely the physical piece, you can’t deny that. It’s also attractive when someone is comfortable in their own skin…when a girl doesn’t need a guy’s approval to be themselves. They’re not always seeking a guy’s attention. They know who they are and are not afraid to express themselves that way. You don’t have to like everything a guy likes. A lot of guys like sports, we don’t require the girl to like sports…it doesn’t really matter to us. We just want you to be yourself.
What are some ways that you show interest?
I’m definitely not the kind of person that would just go out and say it. I prefer to wait and get to know the person… I would say it’s a long process. I like to kind of get to know them and see if they’re friendly back. I want to see if we can be friends and talk to them on a personal level first- if you like someone you’re going to show more interest in them than others. You might notice that they want to talk to you and enjoy spending time with you.
What are some things that are important to you to have in a relationship?
I mean obviously friendship. It shouldn’t just be about the romantic stuff- it should be about getting to know them. I mean when it’s not one on one, do you enjoy spending time with them and other people? I feel like if you’re in the right relationship you don’t ever mind being with that person- even though you shouldn’t be together all day everyday. I think you necessarily need to have the same interests- I think you can still complement each other…it’s all about growing. I think it’s good to learn from other people- we’re not going to love all of each other’s things but we’re still going to share in each other’s lives.
What are some qualities you admire about women in general.
I admire how women take on the caretaker role. They’re always the one to raise the children…or even with elderly people they’re always the first one to help. It reminds me of my mom, she’s been taking care of my grandfather- he can’t live by himself anymore and she was the first one to respond; I really admire that.
From a relationship standpoint I think women have the power to make men the best they can be- they can bring out the best in us. You guys make us feel like anything’s possible…it’s a great feeling. The desire to have the woman that you dream about makes you want to be the best person you can be. It really changes you.
What are some things that you’re looking forward to in the near or distant future?
If you want to look far down the road, I look forward to having a wife and children. Maybe from a job perspective I look forward to finding my passion- I’m trying just being content with what I have.
Andrew is another great guy with some great insights. I hope you enjoyed reading his responses!